The Ganesha God’s Eye View
While working with National Public Television in the United States I had the opportunity to meet the author Thomas Wolfe. Thomas Wolfe was known for wearing pristine white suites which matched his full head of white hair. The only memory I have of our dialog together was his answer to my question: “Why white suites?” His answer: “Every time I experience writer’s block I buy a white suite.” As a young play write and documentary filmmaker I had yet to experience writer’s block. It was so out of the realm of my experience I didn’t even ask Mr. Wolfe the meaning of ‘writer’s block.’ I simply surmised that he must experience it a lot considering he only wears white suites.
A few years later in the midst of writing my first book I experienced writer’s block. Some days I would show up at my desk ready to go and nothing flowed. No matter what I did to move energy, I felt like a ‘blockhead’. I remembered Mr. Wolfe in his white suites and wondered what kind of a costume would serve to remove my obstacles. It was at that point a wooden statue of the Hindu deity Ganesha came into my life. Ganesha was my white suite.
We met at a shop filled with sacred statues from around the world. I immediately fell in love with this elephant headed male baring an abundant belly and a twinkle in his eye. His red body, adorned with gold and green accents, was alive. I could hear the tablas was playing calling me. This Ganesha was inviting me to dance with the divine. The owner of the shop said that Ganesha is the deity Hindus call upon to remove barriers. She also told me that this ancient Indian statue had been sitting in her store for years, waiting for the right person. I issued this jolly Ganesha an invitation into my home. Ganesha agreed and we have been friends for the past fourteen years.
Ganesha is my right hand man as I write. His energy of celebration removes the obstacle of seriousness for me. Seriousness tends to freeze the brain waves. He is my Shiva to my Shakti. Ganesha is invoked at the commencement of many Balinese ceremonies to ensure success and is positioned at the entrance of Balinese compounds. Ganesha is the deity for writers and activates wit, wisdom and knowledge. Many paintings, batiks and statues show Ganesha with a pen and a book. Ganesha is recognized as the deity who facilitated the writing of the Hindu epic scripture, the Mahabharata from which the many stories composing Balinese dances and shadow plays are derived.
The author of the Mahabharata, poet and sage, Vyasa invoked the great Ganesha to be his scribe. Ganesha gleefully accepted. He felt the writing of such a significant work to be such an honor that no ordinary pen would do. Ganesha broke off one of his tusks and made a pen out of it. This tusk became the conduit through which the divine teachings of the Mahabharata were transmitted.
After Ganesha broke off his tusk he playfully posed a condition upon Vyasa: That he dictate to him continuously without pause. Vyasa agreed to this challenge offering his own condition: That Ganesha understands every word and concept before writing it down. Thus was set up an intricate rhythm of generating and assimilating divine wisdom. When Ganesha completed writing a verse, Vyasa would dictate a profound stanza. This required Ganesha to rest, reflect and integrate the meaning of the words, giving Vyasa time for another wave of words to arrive. The writing of the greatest scripture in the Hindu tradition becomes an example of a right relationship between the messenger and scribe.
You don’t have to be a writer to be an author. Each of us is the author of our life. We receive a message from within which formulates a desire compelling a choice of action thus writing our life. We all experience times as a blockhead. The vehicle for Ganesha is a rat or mouse. This rodent is depicted underneath Ganesha’s left foot. At first glance the juxtaposition of this huge elephant man riding this tiny animal evokes absurd laughter. What I have come to know as the meaning of Mr. Rat is that wisdom is derived from accepting and understanding those gnawing creatures within us-craving, aversion, attachment-that seek to separate us from living into our innate knowledge. A rat is destructive to the rice fields, to that which provides sustaining nourishment. Our inner rats can overtake the field from which Source shines within creating a rat delusion-we begin to think that we are the rat instead of the infinitely expansive Ganesha.
One day, as I was deeply absorbed in the experience of understanding one of my inner obstacles, discontent, I took myself for a long walk in the rice fields. Nearing the end of my meditative contemplation a mouse appeared on the path. Instead of fleeing from my big, bare feet he simply stood and looked at me. I looked at him. And as I looked at him I suddenly felt myself as the huge, rotund Ganesha looking down upon this tiny mouse beneath my feet. My entire Being expanded into Light. I began to witness this moment from the Ganesha God’s Eye View.
What I saw: This discontent that is chewing away at me is so small and I am making it so big! I am judging it, maligning it and letting it manipulate me until my mind is so clouded that all I see before me is a wretched etching of a lifeless life. My discontent is this little mouse. In that moment of revelation, I slowly raised my big toe which was in front of the mouse’s nose. The mouse reacted and leaped into the ravine along with my discontent.
All of our obstacles arise from within or without as invitations to rest, reflect, digest and understand. Too often when we experience a damn in the flow of life we react as the rat to my big toe: in a flight or flight response. This reaction arises from an experience in our past that has locked itself inside of our autonomic nervous system. In this fearful reaction our heart shuts down and our mind becomes a black magic pot stewing with anger, blame and shame. Ganesha’s huge belly symbolically shows us that we contain the whole universe and that when we root into this Source we have the ability to fearlessly digest whatever experiences that life brings us.
Ganesha guides us into a balance between the spiritual and the mundane. He bestows bountiful boons for an affluent life. Every tiny creature has a purpose in this great divine play. Like the tiny mouse who can scurry into small nooks and crannies Ganesha can seek out that within our own mind has become a barrier. If we perceive and believe something to be an obstacle, so it is. If we see what is before us as a guru guiding us toward discovering alternative solutions and revealing what is hidden from view then we have the potential to cease being a block head. We then become the Ganesha God’s Eye View.
Below is a simple Ganesha chant:
Om Ghung Ganapataye Namaha!
:
Om = Activates the divine principle
Ghung = The identifying seed syllable, or bija mantra for Ganesh
Ganapataye = Another name for Ganesh
Namaha = Brining the vibration of Ganesh into your heart as your own
Pronounciation:
Om = A U M
Guhng = As it sounds
Ganapataye = gah-nah-paht-ah-yeh
Namaha - nah-mah-hah
Om Swastyatu
Contact the writer at: tarakhadro@yahoo.com
My True Mother
I look into the mirror.
My face is
Black, Blue, Bleeding Broken
I’m an actress. My face is who I am.
In the center of my facial disarray
I see two black spots, the portals to my soul
I gaze into the invitation of this endless night
Hm, I wonder… What is my True Face?
Clambering with curiosity I dive into the vast void
Sliding down into myself
Shockwaves from the trauma with the rapist’s rage
Dissolving
As I return to rest and reside in my bodily abode
Slithering through unexplored territory
Unfelt feelings appear grasping for attachment.
Terror Rage Grief Blame and Shame
I frankly free fall past these new acquaintances
Intuitively I sense: These are not who I truly am. This is not my True Face
Dropping Deeeeeeper Dowwwwwwn Into The Depths of my Being
I see it: A tiny golden white light
Pulsing in the womb of my belly.
“This is it! This is my True Face! This is the Face before I was born!
In that recognition Maha Shakti roars through me
An eruption of the eternal creative fire that birthed the Universe
My entire body aflame with Electric Love
Activating Awakened Awareness:
In the midst of unfathomable pain and violence
Your loving fire rises up as the Phoenix
Showing me how to cultivate a new life
From the many dimensions of my turmoil.
“YES! Mother Shakti my midwife to rebirth me as my True Face!
Maha Shakti You are my guru, guiding me
To fully feel and possess my rejected feelings
As the sparks Igniting evolutionary revelations
Leading towards a radical revolution of my heart.
My own mother rejected me as the perpetrator who made her a victim at my birth.
Her “I Love You’s…’ full of fear
Shakti rising up from the molten core of Gaia
Grounds me in Gaia’s Unconditional love
For me as her daughter.
Belonging to Gaia. Belonging to my self.
Gaia, my True Mother
Magical Surrender
Return to your breath and know yourself as God
This is magic
The magic of surrender
Surrendering into suspension by the iron rings of Faith
Innocently melting into Mother’s arms
Rocking us in Her endless sea of Love
We stand
Rooted in the rootless radiance within
Soaring with rainbow wings of Light
Fearlessly welcoming all guests
Knocking at the door of the heart.
What gifts are you giving me oh Wicked One?
What revelations are you revealing for me oh, Masked One?
What surprise have you selected for me oh, Sweet One?
In this Magic Surrender
We return to live as IAM that IAM
Golden Goodness
Divine Authority
Authoring our lives
Writing from the future
Stepping into alignment
With our destiny…
Now.
Part II: HIV/AIDS on Bali: Communication is the Cure
(for Bali Advertiser)
The vibrant 15 year old boy in a white shirt, navy pants and blazer stands in front of his classmates with the confidence of a professional television announcer. As he unwraps a small package the size of a matchbook, he explains how a condom protects against HIV infection. In spite of his difficulty in opening up the packet, he is not deterred from his information dissemination intent. Finally, the condom is released from the envelope. The young man places it on top of the wooden dildo. “You must be careful while putting on the condom that it does not break.” As he says these words his hands expertly begin to slip the piece of latex over the tip of the dildo. It stretches halfway down the wooden penis then “SNAP!” The 59 students involved in the AYO! Kita Bicara HIV-AIDS education workshop burst out laughing.
Laughter is also the response when the children hear testimony from a classmate that a 16 year old friend recently passed away from AIDS. This laughter contains lack of empathy as well as fear- 48% of the HIV positive population of Bali are young men and women between the ages of 15-29. A program facilitator gently, yet firmly informs the students that they must break through the stigma and discrimination of living with HIV-AIDS, with empathy and understanding. Communication, empathy and understanding are keys to unlock the silence surrounding the spread of the HIV virus on Bali.
At the writing of this article in November 2011, Bali ranked second after Papua, New Guinea for the highest number of humans infected with HIV in Indonesia in relationship to the total population. At a 2008 seminar on the control and prevention of HIV-AIDS, Dr. Nyoman Mangku Karmaya, Chairman of the Committee for Combating AIDS warned that “The threat of drowning in Bali is not only posed by tsunamis composed of sea water, but also by a increasingly growing tsunami of HIV-AIDS sufferers threatening to drown and overwhelm the island.” According to Bali’s Commission of AIDS Prevention, the number of Balinese infected with AIDS may well rise to over 7,000 cases by the end of 2011. The tsunami has landed.
The stigma and shame associated with being HIV positive, combined with beliefs that HIV is one’s karma and destiny, a cultural expectation for men to have many sex partners and ignorance of the virus until AIDS symptoms arise or a person dies, prevent Balinese from seeking education, testing and treatment. As a result, silence spreads the virus. There is no vaccine or cure for the HIV virus. The way to halt its spread is through education and communication on how to prevent infection by this deadly virus that is infiltrating Balinese families. At this moment, there is no concerted media blitz about HIV-AIDS and condoms are not being handed out as guest gifts at ceremonies. There are many organizations on the island tirelessly devoted to spreading the word. Due to article limitations, I will share two organizations that are empowering teenagers, sex workers and their clients.
Ayo! Kita Bicara HIV-AIDS(Let’s Talk About HIV-AIDS)
AYO! Kita Bicara HIV-AIDS, an outreach initiative of the Bali Spirit Festival is dedicated to educating and empowering teenagers to communicate with each other, their families and communities about HIV-AIDS. AYO! Kita Bicara is the program of “Bhakti Social”, the service arm of the Bali Spirit Festival. A member of the Bali Spirit Festival team coordinates the logistics for this 3 hour “EduSpirit” facilitated in Bali high schools and the content and training of facilitators is provided by Yayasan Spirit Paramacitta and Yayasan KISARA. This joyful, enthusiastic group of heart centered humans provides a safe environment inviting honest communication using an interactive, creative teaching model that promotes listening, talking, sharing, caring and understanding. The three L’s- Love, Love ,Love-is the platform from which AYO! Kita Bicara HIV-AIDS arises.
Ayo! Kita Bicara HIV-AIDS is sponsored by and receives partial funding from DKT Indonesia, the makers of Condom Fiesta and Condom Sutra. They also provide the condoms distributed to the teenagers at the completion of the workshop. HIV prevention is all about a condom as it blocks the flow of HIV infected fluids between bodies. Teenagers are the most vulnerable to HIV infection due to their natural desire to experience sexual relations which can lead to unprotected sex. Balinese boys may have their first sexual experience with a sex worker for as little as 25,000IDR. If the sex worker is HIV positive and does not request her client to wear a condom, the infection now infiltrates the teenage population. Although the virus is spread in the most intimate of human interactions, it is a community concern. Ayo! Kita Bicara motivates teenagers to become change agents in their community.
Two girls, one Hindu the other Muslim, told me that after the workshop they now feel more empowered to tell a boy no ‘Free Sex’-sex without a condom. Each of them also said that they feel confident to share this information with family and friends. They also told me that their parents were very clear and firm in setting rules about sex and they were already in communication about this subject within their family. In perfect English Christopher Ebenezer Cornelis, a student in a Gianyar high school suggested that “teenagers make a community to talk about sex, and HIV-AIDS then give the information to adults and other teens in the neighborhood because it is better if teens hear it from teens rather than from adults.” The workshop gave Christopher the awareness of how important it is to learn how to navigate friendships between boys and girls.
I asked Christopher if his parents talk with him about sex education. He said yes, and if he feels tempted to have sex, he will talk to his parents. I suggested that his hormones are very strong and can overpower his thinking and reasoning. If he is with a girl and feels sexual desire, does he feel confident to call his parents in that moment? He laughed, and I asked him to consider Mr. Condom as one of his trusted friends who can live in his pocket.
Kerti Praja Foundation
Yayasan Kerti Praja, a NGO founded in 1992 in Denpasar, provides an outreach education program for sex workers and their clients, sponsors support groups for HIV positive people, free HIV testing and treatment and an income producing program called ReLife for former sex workers and family members whose husbands or wives have succumbed to AIDS. Dr. Emily Rowe, program manager for the past two years at Kerti Praja helps us to understand Balinese cultural beliefs surrounding male sexual health: “We often see Balinese men dressed in ceremonial wear entering into a sex parlor. It is a cultural expectation that men, by the fact that they are male, will have greater sexual desires. Also, many Indonesian health systems are based on the humoral model- hot and cold. Within the humoral model it is accepted and expected for men to have sex to make themselves cold again- they need to release this heat. The need for sexual release is considered essential for health, and is believed to be empowering for male health most significantly. Sexual interaction for males is regarded as vital for relieving stress and restoring potency, and also in keeping the body fresh and renewing energy. Women are expected to sit back and take it.”
The outreach program at Yayasan Kerti Praja is facilitated by 40 sex workers and former sex workers who are HIV positive. The outreach educators visit the red light districts, kafes and karaoke bars providing information, condoms, volunteer testing and information on where to seek treatment and counseling. They empower sex workers from the wisdom of their own experience. They teach a working sex worker ‘condom negotiation’ skills. However, many sex workers feel that they cannot force a client to wear a condom, for fear of losing business. I ask Renee who is HIV positive and currently working in the sex industry if she is a successful condom negotiator: ‘Yes, if a client refuses to wear a condom I will not serve him.” I also ask what her rules are regarding teenagers: “I do not engage in sex with teenagers because they are the age of my children.” Rene’s values, strength and integrity are admirable.
Although the sex work industry is illegal in Indonesia it is thriving. Not only are there designated red-light districts, but the island is populated with an increasing number of night-time venues and ‘kafes’ with sex on the menu. Many women work part time, preferring long term ‘boyfriend’ clients and do not perceive themselves as sex workers. Kerti Praja defines these women as ‘Indirect Sex Workers’ who mainly work in the entertainment/hospitality industry- in cafes, karaoke bars, clubs and massage parlors. This segment of the population is challenging for outreach workers to reach.
The outreach educators also target high risk men such as long-haul truck drivers, construction workers and university students by approaching them as they wait for a sex session. The Kerti Praja representative informs the client that he cannot tell if a woman is HIV positive by looking at her. The outreach worker provides condoms, volunteer testing on the spot, and information. She also suggests that it is his responsibility to not spread the virus to his wife or girlfriend when he returns home to have sex with her.
Many Balinese women operate on the false presumption that a condom is not necessary if she loves a man or if a man appears clean. Although many sex workers negotiate wearing a condom with a client, it does not necessarily mean that they do the same for their husband or boyfriend. The women feel that sexual intercourse with a special partner is an expression of love and intimacy.
For centuries sex has been a tool to manipulate and perpetuate the lust for power. Lust is a fear induced craving. The Balinese Hindu philosophy names lust as one of the 6 enemies of humanity along with greed, envy, intoxication, anger and confusion. These emotional states separate us from our innate divine authority, our True power. To create awareness of these animal urges within us, a tooth filing ritual is offered to Balinese males and females during adolescence. For USD $3,510, a high priest will file down the incisor and canine teeth, which represent our animal nature. At this price, I surmise that not too many teenagers partake in this ritual and as within many religions; these kinds of acts are symbolic and not taken to heart.
HIV is a great educator and equalizer offering Balinese and foreigners the opportunity to dialog, share feelings, experiences, illusions, delusions, awaken to conditioned beliefs and to examine unconscious agreements made to maintain the cycle of dominate/submissive power through sexual relationships. First we must accept that HIV exists, respect its nature and discover what maintains its power. Through this journey of understanding, we discover how our own conditioned and wounded parts of ourselves contribute to our suffering. The enemy is a part of us. We humans are mammals. What separates us from our animal brethren is our cerebral cortex. This part of the brain is programmed to embrace these “Six enemies” and transmute them into enlightened consciousness. Sexual intercourse creates new human life. It also has the power to create new consciousness.
Om Swastyastu
Free HIV testing: Clinic Amertha @Kerti Praja Foundation 0361 728 916 728 917
tarakhadro@yahoo.com
Part I: HIV/AIDS on Bali: The Key is Understanding
(for Bali Advertiser)
By Tara Khadro
My desire to write this two part article on the affluent life of the virus known as HIV on Bali arose after reading a succession of articles with staggering statistics revealing the rapid rise of infection among teenagers, mothers and babies. In a November 2010 Jakarta Post article Udayana University epidemiologist Dewa Nyoman Wirawan, an expert and long-time HIV/AIDS activist stated that “The fact that HIV has spread into the general population should be a wake-up call to many elements of our society that still believe the disease is confined to certain populations.’ Statistics serve to alarm and awaken. The next step is to understand the many dimensions of the human experience behind the numbers so that we may consciously choose how to respond from a place of love, instead of fear.
At the writing of this article, November 2011, the reported number of cases in the Denpasar area alone was 4552. These are reported cases. Lack of understanding and misconceptions about HIV-AIDS fuels discrimination, rejection and abandonment of a person who is living with HIV-AIDS. The strength of this stigma blocks people from seeking information, testing and treatment, fueling the flow of infection. Guess estimations from those involved in prevention and treatment of HIV/AIDS on ‘The Island of the Gods,’ say the numbers will rise to 7,000 by year’s end.
HIV- Human Immunodeficiency Virus- is brilliant. It cannot be caught by shaking hands, sitting on toilet seats or by washing a corpse with AIDS. This virus has more integrity. It finds its way into a person’s blood stream via bodily fluids-blood, semen, and vaginal secretions. Although it can be transmitted via sharing needles-intravenous drug users and insulin dependent diabetics- HIV loves to spread its deadly nature via unprotected sexual intercourse. I respect a foe that finds its entry point at the most intimate, and yet the most culturally, spiritually and psychologically layered of human interactions.
Once within the bloodstream, the virus attacks and slowly breaks down the immune system. The immune system is the body’s defense system. When the virus mutates into its crowning achievement-AIDS- Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome- the body is open for attack from every virus, bacteria and parasite flying around looking for a host. If we are to understand and defeat our foe, we first must accept its existence, honor its nature and seek understanding. The heartbreaking fact on Bali is that the majority of Balinese are ignorant of the virus among them. Although there are many outreach programs, there is no coordinated media blitz and the most common path of information dissemination is when a pregnant mother is tested, or a friend or family member is diagnosed as sick, dying or has died from AIDS.
Pak Nyoman, works in the agricultural division of the Indonesian government in Singaraja. He learned about the virus from his son-in-law who died from AIDS in 2004. “He was like a son to me. He was always sick. Twenty-five days before he died the doctors gave him a blood test for HIV. That was the first I heard of the virus. My 24 year old son-in-law was dying of AIDS. At that time my 22 year old daughter was tested and the results were positive.” Worya, a devoted husband and father is living with HIV-AIDS. He tested positive after his 8 month pregnant wife tested positive for the virus. His now 5 year old son is HIV free. Worya says that “At first I didn’t believe the tests. I didn’t feel sick. I was in denial.”
Testing, treatment and prevention organizations report antidotal evidence that HIV is on the rise within Balinese families. In a Sept. 7, 2011 Bali Advertiser news brief a ‘spokesperson’ for the Committee for Combating AIDS admitted it is common practice for married men to engage in sexual affairs with other women (foreign and Balinese) and/or sex workers then return home to have sex with their wife. What Mr. Spokesperson did not say is that it is also common practice for the men to refuse to wear condoms and for women to oblige. Abortion is also illegal in Indonesia. In Balinese culture if a woman becomes pregnant and is not married, the responsible male must marry her and a village wedding ceremony ensues. This scenario does not produce the conditions to grow a marriage where both partners find everlasting love and affection.
Dr. Emily Rowe is an anthropologist working the past two years as a program manager at Yayasan Kerti Praja in Denpasar. Yayasan Kerti Praja provides an outreach program for sex worker education, support groups for HIV positive people, an income producing program called ReLife, and free HIV testing and treatment. Dr. Rowe helps us to understand some of the underlying cultural beliefs that support what the chairman says is ‘common practice’ among Balinese men to have multiple sex partners:
“Extra/pre-marital trysts or infidelities are often dismissed with the expression, “dasar laki-lak – typical male!” a phrase that normalizes male promiscuity. In addition, many Indonesian ethnic groups share a hydraulic model of sexuality based on humoral medical theories of health and corporeality. In a hydraulic system, sexual desire is conceptualized as a strong inherent force that requires release or to somehow be controlled and channeled. The need for sexual release is considered essential for health, and is believed to be empowering for male health most significantly. Sexual interaction for males is regarded as vital for relieving stress and restoring potency, and also in keeping the body fresh and renewing energy. Women are expected to sit back and take it.”
I am honored to be an intimate ear to a few young Balinese males. Each of them married and in their mid to late twenties. Each one shared with me feelings of guilt after entering into an extra marital sexual relationship. My heart broke open when I realized how each of them felt it their duty to engage in an affair. As an outsider as well as a woman with diametrically opposed cultural values, I simply held empathetic space for their pain. I also navigated the dialog so that these intelligent, talented young men might consider that they, as the new generation of Balinese, have the power to change directions.
This idea served to initially inspire and empower, however, months later when I encountered two of them and we began to converse, I discovered that they did not diverge from their original direction. Each of them felt it was a way to provide for their family, as well as to receive needed emotional and physical nourishment. To be clear, my young friends did not receive money for sex, rather the relationship with their Western lovers offered many other opportunities for cash advancement. Also, I know many Balinese who are in thriving, loving monogamous relationships.
Economic opportunity within any society is a prevailing motivating force for choosing one’s individual life path. Sunarti was born in Surabya, migrated to Bali and married a Balinese man whose income supported the family. When her husband died in a motorbike accident, Surbaya born Sunarti was left with nothing. She felt her only option to obtain enough money to support herself and her two children was to enter into the sex work industry. Fees for this service range from 25,000IDR at a girlie warung for low price to 450,000IDR for a more classier session-with higher class women. It is this need for a sustainable income that is driving the increase in numbers of sex workers on the island. Bali thrives on tourism and sensual massage parlors, Kuta Cowboys, red light karaoke, discotheques and kafe’s where the waitresses serve sex are all available for Balinese and to feed foreigners fantasies of experiencing sex, love and maybe marriage on an island paradise.
HIV PREVENTION: IT’S ALL ABOUT A CONDOM
We bring all of our former sexual partners into the sexual act we are experiencing in this moment. Have you experienced multiple partners simultaneously or random partners in succession? Or are you a human being living on planet earth who becomes overpowered by sexual desires and occasionally engages in sexual intercourse refusing or at best, forgetting to invite Mr. Condom to the party? Changing cultural paradigms can take a few generations. However, hitting the pause button to slip on a seductive, sensual, comfy condom can save many lives here and now.
I asked Worya, a courageous man who chooses to be a public voice for people living with HIV-AIDS “Why do men refuse to wear condoms?” He was silent for a few moments then simply stated: “It doesn’t feel good.” As a female on the receiving end of the condom coated penis I agree with Worya. As a female, my body is more susceptible to the HIV virus. I can’t control others choices, I can only be in charge of my own feelings, thoughts and desires. I am in charge of what goes into my body. I value my body and my life. Sexual penetration packs a huge energetic infusion for a woman emotionally, physically and spiritually.
However the use of a simple piece of latex or lamb’s intestine during sexual penetration allows freedom from fear of infection, shame and blame which can outweigh the transitory feel good of penetration without a condom. There are a multitude of ways to ‘feel good’ during sexual relations. Invite your imagination into the bedroom or take up some tantric sexual teachings. I was the messenger of new information for my young male friends about HIV-AIDS and condom use. When I told them the virus is not like rabies-no vaccine and no cure-and once it becomes AIDS it is likely a death sentence they became very, very quiet. There is free antiviral medication offered to Balinese that will strengthen the immune system IF he or she is aware that the illness arises from being HIV positive. However the shame of being a host for this virus is so great, that many who know they are HIV positive will only speak to a PLWHA or a person like Pak Nyoman who has a HIV positive family member and keep their status silent within their family.
Silence stimulates the spread of the HIV virus. Balinese are open minded yet are encouraged to listen and not invited to question. The family unit is a small community and it is from that community that we are shown how to treat ourselves and others. Whether we are Balinese or foreigners, each of us are a product of the past 5,000 years of living within a cultural paradigm founded in fear. We maintain silence through an endless cycle of internalized blame and shame which suppresses the voice of our innate divine wisdom, our True Power. The moment we choose to give voice to what we truly feel, think and desire is the moment we change directions from fear to love within ourselves. Communication from a place of love is the cure for halting the spread of HIV-AIDS on Bali.
Om Swastyastu
PART II: HIV-AIDS ON BALI: COMMUNICATION IS THE CURE
Acceptance: The Peace That Passeth All Understanding
I sent an economic consultant two book titles: Sacred Economics and What Do We Do After Money? These two books suggest that our current global agreement of currency exchange is moving through a massive makeover, melting down and rising up into something completely creative and compassionate. My friend’s text response: “My thing right now is how to control greed”.
Knowing my friend I understood that he was not only speaking to global greed, but also how was he to control his own craving-for more, more, more. All that is outside of us is born from within. His question takes us to the root of the money issue. Greed arises from craving. Craving arises from attachment. Attachment arises out of fear.
Money in and of itself is an object. It is a piece of decorated paper. It only holds its power because we are all in agreement with its stated value. Each time we make a currency exchange we transmit cultural, spiritual and psychological beliefs. At a young age we discovered the perceived power of this piece of paper. If there was not a lot of it around, many of the toys, sweets or even school supplies we wanted were not coming into our lives. For some of us, money was used to replace love or as a bribe for love. Some of us understood that money was in unlimited supply. Maybe we were taught that ‘time is money’ or that the more hours we work the more pieces of paper we accumulate, the more stuff we can own and the more prestige we acquire. How we learn to treat ourselves and others is often taught to us by how we relate with money.
A saying was brought into society that ‘Money is the root of all evil’. This piece of paper with a bunch of symbols is the root of all evil? Wow, that is a lot of power for a piece of paper. Evil simply exists, just as love exists. My experience of evil is actions arising from fear and pain inside that harm us or others. Oftentimes, until we act in this way we are not aware that we are ‘evil’. Like Love, evil has many expressions. Money is paper, it is how we relate to it that matters. In my experience I observe that if a person has a handful of this paper or three Swiss banks full he or she might perceive that there is never enough. If we feel that we are running on empty, no matter how little or how much material matter in our possession, we will never feel full-of food, objects, money, houses, or love.
This craving has arisen from lifetimes of living as separate from the natural abundance of Nature. Humanity is moving through an unprecedented cosmic consciousness shift. The Mayans of Central America, the Altai of Mongolia, the Hopi of North America, the Maori of New Zealand and many other earth honoring tribes speak of these times on planet earth as a what the Q’ero of Peru name the Pachakuti-“The Great Turning.” Pacha means world and Kuti means reversal-“world reversal.” The Earth and Her peoples are rapidly turning away from living in a world order founded in fear and hierarchy towards creating a new paradigm grounded in love and harmonic diversity. Each one of us composes the larger body called humanity. Each one of us is given the opportunity, moment to moment, to become aware of how this feeling of emptiness leads us to crave more and more.
Each of us is evolving a New Earth consciousness out of lifetimes of violence. The Mayans say that we are in the midst of “the eradication of the Dark Mentalist or negative forces.” This Great Turning is a turning inward to witness those shadow thoughts and addictive emotional patterns, compelling us to act separate from our inner divine authority. When we engage these rejected parts of ourselves as a mother welcomes home her long lost children, we begin to fill up the emptiness we feel inside with empathy, forgiveness, and understanding.
The Altai of Mongolia refers to these Great Turning times as the emergence of ‘The Age of the Feminine.’ The past 5,000 years humanity has conducted its relationships based on a perpetrator/victim model. This model oppresses and suppresses those qualities that are deemed ‘feminine’-nurturing, feeling, intuitive, sensing and relational. This hierarchical paradigm thrives on what Gautama Buddha said are the roots of human suffering (evil): craving, aversion and attachments. The emptiness that we feel can only be made full when we consciously choose to change inner directions.
I discovered the key to feeling full for me lies in the practice of accepting whatever arises with gratitude. This teaching came to me in a dramatic moment when an Alpha Romeo was speeding towards me. I looked it in the headlights and calmly stated: “Oh, I’m going to get run over.’ In deeply, clearly, honestly accepting ‘what is’ I melted into that deep well within that is ‘the Peace that Passeth all understanding’. My entire body relaxed and no bones were broken. I could not control the Alpha Romeo. What I could be in charge of was how to respond to what is just as it is no matter what it is.
In acceptance we fill ourselves up with the entire cosmos. When I become aware that I am craving, attached or averting something within or without, I sink into my body, breathe, and accept it with an open heart of gratitude. In that acceptance I enter into divine communion with All That Is and become full of a radiant, dynamic ease. Living in an emptiness of craving, desires are never fully fulfilled. Greed is a way to fill it up, yet no matter how much material matter we value as matters, what truly matters is the divine inherent within all matter.
All that we do now must be done in a sacred manner and in celebration. We are the ones we have been waiting for.— Hopi elder
RESTING A RESTLESS MIND (Jakarta Post)
I said to my friend: “I want to stop wrestling with my restless mind.” He suggested I attend a Vipassana retreat at the Brahma Vihara Arama Monastery near Lovina, Bali. Vipassana is a non-sectarian meditation practice conceived by Gautama Buddha 25,000 years ago. Commonly referred to as ‘insight meditation’, Vipassana cultivates an awareness of the direct relationship between body and mind, moment to moment. The technique is simple: Place attention on the breath, rest in the belly, welcome and watch all thoughts, feelings and sensations that arise. I signed up to attend this eight day silent retreat.
The guiding meditation teacher, Sayadaw U Tejaniya, a visiting monk from Burma, feels the purpose of meditation is to understand defilements: cravings, aversions and delusions in their many forms. Vipassana guides us to consciously choose to change directions with our life: We learn how to stop running away from our defilements and begin to accept and understand them. Vipassana meditation invites us to take a journey into self-transformation.
Daily we emerged out of silence for group interviews. Mealtimes proved to be challenging for the majority of us. “When you eat, do not hurry. When you are eager to eat you will loose mindfulness. Greediness tends to come in as soon as a meal begins,” Sayadaw explains.
This greediness is a form of craving.
How do we get rid of this craving?
Vipassana teaches how to get to get to know this craving mind. We want to make friends with our defilements so that we may more intimately understand their nature. When we reject our defilements-worry, sadness, anger-we strengthen them. “Don’t look down on the defilements; they will laugh at you!” Sayadaw informs us.
Hirok Ghosh, a Singapore businessman and 15 year Vipassana practitioner shared a personal story:
“I was teaching a university class. I saw this woman that I was attracted to speaking to a man. Anger arose. I allowed the feeling to be present and I kept on teaching. Throughout the class I maintained a watchful awareness on my anger.”
Hirok watched and inquired about this anger for four days. Eventually his insights led him to the awareness of the origin of his suffering: Expectations. Hirok held expectations about giving and receiving love. With this understanding he was able to make a conscious choice on how to act based on knowledge and wisdom.
Vipassana asks us to remain with a disturbing feeling, thought or physical sensation as a loving mother sits with a hurt child. Sayadaw cautions us to refrain from taking a journey into the story of the disturbance. “If a pain from the past arises, it is not old. It is now. It is new.”
As we sit, and observe we cultivate a forgiving, detached view. Our restless mind begins to rest. Out of this restful view curiosity arises. We begin to wonder and inquire: “What is this? Or “What is happening?” These questions lead us into insights about the origins of the disturbance. From insight arises awareness and understanding. We may encounter and welcome the disturbance many times, with various insights, before true understanding arises. The practice of Vipassana can become a life-long companion.
The right attitude is an essential tool for our journey: Sayadaw explains: “Right attitude allows you to accept, acknowledge, and observe whatever is happening – whether pleasant or unpleasant – in a relaxed and alert way. Every experience, whether good or bad, gives you a learning opportunity to notice whether the mind accepts things.”
Brahma Vihara Arama’s deliciously designed gardens, stupas, and water features is the perfect setting to nurture agitated retreat students to dissolve into a relaxed rhythm of moment to moment awareness. The monastery was built in 1970 and is the only Buddhist monastery on Bali. Vipassana mediation retreats are held throughout the year with visiting teachers from around the world, and are offered on a donation basis.
There are a variety of spaces on the compound where students can get to know and understand the mind. The upper tier of this four tiered compound is a magnificent grassy open space with stunning views of the sea and surrounding mountains. This green space sits in front of a replica of the stupa of Borobudur on Java. The Dalai Lama attended the opening ceremony for the Tibetan stupa. Next to this stupa is a carefully contained alcove with a statue of Gautama Buddha sitting underneath an imported Bo tree. This is the tree that Buddha sat under when he attained his enlightenment. A practitioner can sit for hours cocooned in the netting of individual meditation huts set along a jungle ravine area.
The monastery remains open to tourists and pilgrims throughout the retreat. This allowed us to discover how to maintain a continuity of mindfulness within the diverse conditions of daily life. “Continuity is vital for this practice, for meditative mind work. You need to remind yourself to be aware all day long. Don’t forget to watch yourself from the time you wake up until the time you fall asleep.” Vipassana shows us how to sustain inner tranquility no matter what arises.
This inner equanimity is our radiant True Nature. It expresses itself as joy. Sayadaw is an excellent example of how continual cultivation of a restful mind en-lightens us up. His heartfelt teachings are transmitted on the edge of laughter.
What is the right attitude if we are in a love relationship?
“Laugh! Whatever happens. Relationship is a powerful practice. Keep laughing!”
The Sacred Banyan Tree (Ubud Community)
From a tiny seed in a fig grows the giant banyan tree. For the Balinese, this majestic tree, with its enormous trunk, far reaching branches and its voluminous thick roots running deep into the earth, the banyan is a symbol of humanity’s potential for perfection. Humans are like trees: We walk up right with our feet grounded on the earth simultaneously rising towards the sky, towards heaven and enlightenment. Like the tree, we must be fully grounded, fully rooted with the energy of the earth, if we are to stand as the light of divine perfection that is our natural birthright. Humans, like trees, are mediators between heaven and earth. What an amazing being we are, for inside of every one of us, just like the tree, is the entire Cosmos.
The banyan is an integral part of the Pura Dalem, temple for the dead, in every Balinese village. Pura Dalem includes the cemetery. The banyan tree represents the eternal cycle of death and rebirth and protects the spirits after death. The leaves of a Banyan tree are large, leathery, glossy, green and elliptical in shape. They are used in cremation ceremonies. It is said that after Krishna devoured the universe (destroying it) he turned himself into a tiny child, wrapped himself up in the leaf of a Banyan and rested. Riding in this leaf, the banyan tree floated in the Empty Radiant Void until Krishna chose to re-create the Universe. In the Bhagavad Gita, Lord Krishna says: “Of all trees I am the banyan tree.”
It is also believed that the Spiritual Father of Bali, Javanese Yogi Sage Sri Markandeya met Vishnu, the God of the waters and the preserver of life, disguised as a child lying on a golden bed sitting in the limbs of a banyan tree:
When the earth was in the midst of a great destruction, it was enveloped in pitch darkness. The sun and moon did not exist. Meteors showered the planet. The entire earth was aflame. The gods and demons vanished. The only being alive was the great sage Markandeya.
Markandeya sat in meditation as the earth was burning. The flames did not touch him, yet he was afraid the raging inferno would engulf him. As the only sentient creature he suffered from thirst and hunger. Overwhelmed he forgot about the sustaining, protective and enlightening power of meditation. Markandeya’s lips and throat became parched with fear. In his delusional wanderings he came upon a lone banyan tree, untouched by the flames. He retired to the shade of the banyan tree and started to pray to Vishnu.
As Markandeya prayed the meteor showers stopped. Clouds began forming in the sky. They were thick, dark clouds spreading all over the earth. Rain poured from the clouds extinguishing the fire. The earth became water as it rained for 12 years. Markandeya did not know what to do. There was water everywhere and he floated on the Great Flow as he continued to pray to Vishnu.
Markandeya stopped praying as he heard a voice: “Do not be frightened, Markandeya. You are devoted to me and I shall protect you.” It was Vishnu, yet in his delusional state Markandeya did not realize the voice was Vishnu. Markandeya began swimming around in circles, wondering where the voice was coming from. Suddenly he saw the banyan tree that protected him from the fire, floating on the water. A golden bed was spread on the branches of the tree and on the bed there slept a small boy. Markandeya was dumbstruck to see the small boy floating along with the deluge. He was so confused that he did not realize that this boy was none other than Vishnu.
The boy lovingly, with great comfort spoke to Markandeya. “You are tired and seeking refuge.
I invite you to enter my body and rest.” And the boy opened his mouth for Markandeya to enter.
Inside the boy’s stomach Markandeya discovered the Cosmos. Astounded, Markandeya began to pray to Vishnu. The moment he began to pray he was expelled out of the boy’s body. Vishnu appeared, blessing him. The Sage spent a thousand years with Vishnu. Vishnu wished to grant Markandeya a boon: “What is your desire?”
Markandeya replied: “I want to build a temple to Shiva in Purushaottama Kshetra. This will prove to everyone that Vishnu and Shiva are really one and the same.”
Vishnu granted the boon and Markandeya built a temple to Shiva known as Bhuvaneshvara (Lord of the World).
After driving through a banyan tree at Cupuan, Bali one can imagine this giant fig tree floating on an ocean with Vishnu lying on a golden bed. The Balinese wrap the banyan tree in gold or white and black checkered sarongs, recognizing it as a reflection of a human being. These sarongs acknowledge the infinite wisdom of this sacred tree of perfection. The mighty banyan tree reminds us that we are divine beings living in a material world. It’s fruit shares the sweetness of life. It’s leaves wrap us in love. Its roots anchor us into the core of Mother Gaia where we receive the continual flow of her unconditional nurturing. It’s trunk channels the infinite, radiant Spirit that weaves itself throughout every particle of matter. It’s branches remind us that we are One yet many. It’s thick trunk reflects our own strength when we stand firm in faith. It provides soothing shade when we simply want to sit down, take a rest from our jalan jalan and contemplate the cycle of death and rebirth in our lives.
Om Swastyatu
(Story rewritten from www.gita-society.com)
Contact the writer at: tarakhadro@yahoo.com
Bringing Joy to Pain (Ubud Community)
As Tukang Pijat healer Nyoman Sudana presses a small blunt piece of Javanese Santani wood deeply into a tender point on my foot, a loud scream spontaneously erupts.
Nyoman joyfully laughs in response.
“Give thanks to the pain!” Nyoman advises me.
I sink into my breath and focus my attention on inhaling praise for the pain. In this way I begin to embrace the pain as not an intruder, rather a welcome friend who is showing me where my energy is severely blocked. Breathing deeply in this manner my mind releases its fear, the space around the pain expands and the core divine energy (chi) that is the Great Medicine Doctor begins to flow through me, unleashing the energy trapped in my gall bladder.
Nyoman Sudana is a Tukang Pijat, an intuitive Balinese healer who discovers blocks within the blood, organs, nervous system, sinews, bones, mind and chi of the body through points on the feet and hands. Akin to a reflexologist, Nyoman’s intuitive healing magic is performed through reading the body through kneading, holding, piercing with the wooden stake, tapping, and ‘snapping’ corresponding points in the feet, hands and along the back of the leg. Nyoman is a master with Tukang Pijat and in a relatively short amount of time discovers the root of a client’s pain.
As a young child Nyoman demonstrated a natural attraction to healing the pains of the body, mind and spirit. When I ask him who his teachers were he responds: ‘My clients teach me”. He watched Chinese reflexologists as a child, yet received no formal teaching. Rather his natural, intuitive and empathic gifts allowed him to be drawn into the consciousness of the methods. Much like a piano prodigy learns to play the piano through listening and watching another master play. Nyoman says that ‘my ancestors and God shows me the way.”
Nyoman’s gifts are not limited to healing. He loves to draw detailed ink drawings called pelican that portray the interaction of the Gods with Balinese in daily life. A high school teacher in Denpasar of this art form, the first thing he wants me to know when we speak of his teaching is that he is 53 and will retire when he is 60. Nyoman teaches in the morning and returns to his compound in the afternoon, ready to receive whoever shows up at his bale for Tukang Pijat treatments.
A treatment begins with the client lying on his treatment table in a comforting space surrounded by lush greenery. Nyoman will ask questions while feeling the feet to make his assessment. He might prescribe herbs that he takes directly from his garden. The garden grows traditional Balinese herbs as well as several Japanese and Chinese herbs. A Balinese MD gave him an infrared lamp that he applied above my stomach, to aid in circulation. One to three treatments generally generate generous results. Upon the completion of each treatment one experiences an overall sense of clarity, openness and supreme relaxation-the ingredients that reveal our innate happiness.
The most common ailment for Balinese and Westerners is digestive problems. Nyoman treats all manifestations of chronic and acute physical conditions from back and shoulder pain, fluid in the lungs, and strokes. One client from the United Kingdom could not place his foot on the floor. No doctors could discover the reason for the pain. After a few sessions of Tukang Pijat, the client could walk again. A man who went into Nyoman’s office with stuttering and inability to maintain concentration long enough to hold a dialog, emerged relaxed, his mind clear and stuttering disappeared. Another client had just had a stroke. Nyoman returned the flow of energy to the client’s arm and shoulder and now he can move the limb.
“I also laugh when people scream in pain because this is the teaching: “Pain and difficulty bring Joy. When the pain goes away…we are happy!” In the past 15 years people from all over the world have discovered Nyoman in his compound at Jalan Sugriwa, No.21 to learn how the body’s pain births joy.
Nyoman Sudana: 0816578460 or 0361 971 138 No appointments necessary. Just show up.
Contact the writer at: tarakhadro@yahoo.com
Exploring Caves on Bali (Jakarta Post)
I Ketut Sunarta is the General Manager of Bali Eco Adventure and Resort located in Bayad, Tegallalang, Gianyar, Bali. He also serves as a trekking guide through jungle, rice fields, across a river and finally through tunnels that lead into Goa Maya. As a child Ketut was told by his parents that these ancient irrigation tunnels and cave were ‘dangerous.”
This risky reputation began in the 11th Century with the killing of the evil King of Bedulu, Maya Denawa by his subjects. They prayed to Siva (god of immortality) and Indra (god of goodness) to help them vanquish the king. Maya Denawa’s blood ran into the Petanu River, polluting it for drinking and irrigation.
A natural spring was discovered arising out of the mountain near the river. One day, as a team of men were digging irrigation tunnels Ida Pedanda Griya Sakh Manawatla, a local priest, walked by. He felt a special spiritual power from the mountain. Ida Pedanda instructed the men to cut out a space for meditation in the center of the mountain. Goa (cave) Maya (hidden) was born. The priest used Goa Maya for meditation and ceremony until the spring ran dry.
Goa Maya and her tunnels became extinct until the 18th century. It was during the Dutch occupation that they were reborn into a safe haven for those seeking refuge from the Dutch and later the Japanese and Communists. It was to the benefit of all Balinese that Goa Maya be known as ‘dangerous’ so no one would know who was hiding in the caves and the children and other curious individuals would not venture near them.
Three years ago Ketut and the Swiss proprietor of Bali Eco Adventure and Resort, Peter Studer ventured into the tunnels leading into Goa Maya. They slipped into the narrow crevice in the mountain wall, then crawled on their hands and knees with bats, spiders and snakes until they rediscovered the ancient cave. The low irrigation tunnels have been expanded allowing people to stand upright as they follow the 1000 meter labyrinthine tunnel leading into Goa Maya. Now the cave is no longer dangerous, as daily the villagers provide it with devotional offerings.
I accompany a group of Swiss tourists into the cave and each of us are given flashlights as we enter the warm, moist tunnel. There are a few bats, yet we did not encounter any snakes or spiders. Goa Maya is small, accommodating about 10 people. The previous night a full moon ceremony was held in Goa Maya. The statues contained in the three alcoves-Indra, Siva and Maya Denawa-were beautifully adorned with black and white checkered cloths, flower offerings and colorful umbrellas. When we shut down our flashlights we stand in total, complete darkness. A voice from the group breaks the silence: “I don’t feel fear. I feel hugged by the earth.”
Mangku Ketut Darma is the priest of Goa Giri Putri located in the village of Karangsari on Nusa Penida, an island east of Bali. Mangku Darma was born into the priest class, yet only after a successful career in the hospitality industry on Bali did he return to Nusa Penida to step into his family heritage.
“Every time I returned to Karangsari people would tell me that they received visions or had dreams of me being the priest of the cave. I was very happy in my career. I did not feel called to be a priest.” When two strangers spontaneously told him that it was time for him to claim his birthright, he “prayed and meditated upon their words” and finally returned to begin his new life as a priest. In 2001 Mangku Darma began to create the sacred temple that is now Goa Giri Putri.
Prior to Mangku Darma’s return, the villagers left the cave in its natural state. Now, pilgrims from all over Indonesia journey to receive the blessings of Goa Giri (mountain) Putri (lady). They take home the water from the pool deep inside of the cave. When you ask a Balinese if he or she has been to the cave temple the statement after ‘yes’ is “The hole is so small to enter!” The cave entrance is small then immediately opens up into a vast space. The cave is over 15 meters tall in some sections, extends 310 meters and emerges onto a verdant valley swinging with monkeys.
The sound of dripping water onto the cave floor accompanies a priest guide and myself as we trek through this highly humid cave. We take time to explore tunnels and give offerings at deity statues. The cave is wired with electricity and dimly lit. Goa Giri Putri contains a stage as well as an arena style seating area in front of two large alters for ceremonies.
A most magnificent golden dragon staircase takes us up into the heights of Goa Giri Putri where we go deeper into the cave. An altar with a statue of Parwati, goddess of earth sits next to the sacred spring fed pool. We pass through a small tunnel to descend into a remote room devoted to the deity Vishnu, god of waters and the preserver of life. Mats lie on the floor for those who want to pray and meditate.
The exit room contains a large, generously adorned alter to a Buddhist deity, Dewi Kwan Eem. The Chinese call her Kuan Yin. Mangku Darma says that the religion of the Balinese is a Siva-Buddha tradition weaving the beliefs, rituals, and deities of both Hindu and Buddhist traditions. Dewi Kwan Eem is the Goddess of Mercy and Compassion. She is a deity that all individuals, regardless of their religion, can call upon to relieve suffering.
SIDEBAR: NUSA PENIDA
The island of Nusa Penida along with Nusa Lembongan and Nusa Ceningan are sub-districts of Bali’s Klungkung regency. Nusa Penida is all about Nature. It is a limestone plateau with white sand beaches, waterfalls, hot springs, diving, snorkeling and mountain trekking. The islanders are eager to welcome. There is no ATM, so fill your wallet with cash. Two ferries leave daily from Padangbai, Bali.
Nusa Penida’s main livelihood is seaweed farming. Due to the bamboo framed seaweed plots surrounding the island and the strong currents, swimming is not recommended. However, there is excellent diving and snorkeling all around the island with coral reefs, giant Manta Rays and Ocean Sunfish (Mola Mola). Stunningly serene Crystal Bay is where to meet up with the mysterious Mola Mola.
You can take a motorbike on the ferry or rent one. There are only a few places to stay on the island. Agus (081 747 941 76) or Wayan (085 237 029 452) are the local guides. There is a dive resort at Toyapakeh that charges 130,000IDR/night for a room with breakfast. If you want a real adventure, stay at The Bali Bird Sanctuary located in Ped. You can help teach English, train Bali Starlings to live in the wild, or learn how to plant organic vegetables. (081 139 8052)
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